Tuesday, June 21, 2011

FML 41 - When you lose a friend

How do you feel when you lose a friend? Sad? Unhappy? A little depressed?

Here is my story:
We have known each other since the second year of school. But we don't know each other very well as we all have our own friends. Coincidentally, he was my classmate and we were in the same clinical group for the semester, so we have spent more time together. He is a very good friend and I really appreciate his kindness in teaching me some of the patho-physiology and giving me a ride when possible. He was like my mentor.

Not till yesterday:
He: I didn't do anything wrong. I treated you good.
Me: (confused) Huh? What?
He: You know what you have done.
Me: What did I do? (still confused)
He: I treated you good. How can you treat me like that?
Me: ...
He: I gave everyone five for peer evaluation
Me: (Oops, I gave him 2/5) ...(don't know what to say)
He: I know how many marks you have given me. I can count.
Me: (speechless, i can't really say anything, can I?)
He: But it is okay. It is okay...
Me: O---kaay....
He in shock.

Sigh...there you go my friend. I lost a friend just because I gave him a 2/5 for peer evaluation.

But I gave you 2 because of your lack of participation and collaboration. And your paper really sucks. And yet you blame me for giving you a 4? What the heck? Why am I feeling so guilty? Because you are my friend, and I don't want to hurt your feelings.

Anyway, maybe I should have given you 10/10. Happy endings. Then I won't have to try to avoid seeing you, even your friends. Now I am even hoping that we will not be in the same class for future semester or even work together because it is just awkward and embarrassing to smile to you and pretend that nothing has happened.

But it is too late now. Friendships that is broken can't be mend. Or can it?

Lesson 41 = But I am still thankful to have you as a friend. The pain of losing a friend will never go away.

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