FML 21 - Oops BALD? REALLY?

Prince William and Kate Middleton has tied the knot together. Congratulations! Lovely couple!

However, not until a few weeks ago that I realize Prince William is going bald at the age of 28? Isn't that too early to lose hair?

FML 20 - LONG WINTER SEASON!

Me too Vinny! I am tired of SNOW!

It is already April 28, 2011. And living in a 4 season country, it is now spring time. You are expecting to see flowers starting to blossom and grass starting to turn green. No?

Not in Calgary, Canada at least. When you look outside the window, it is SNOWING!

Pretty disappointing that we don't really experience the spring when the weather is still nasty like this when it is almost May. Not to mention summer would be so short that we wouldn't realize that it is just about time to greet the white snow again.

Seriously, when can I say goodbye to the snow?

Unlucky =(

Lesson 20 = Move to a country that truly has 4 seasons. I don't know which one, perhaps you would know?

FML 19 - Em... I forgot my mother tongue

People always say the best way to learn a language is by moving to a different country where you are forced to speak the language. That way you will eventually learn and master the language. That is true. Same thing happen to me. I barely speak any English back in Malaysia, so when I moved to Canada with all the "Ah Mo" speaking English, I had to speak English with them in order to survive. Everything you see or encounter is English, not Chinese or Bahasa Melayu. The only place you can escape is Chinatown, where majority of people is Chinese or Taiwanese or Hong Kongese.

The sad thing is...
I eventually get very good at English to a level where I even get a bit uncomfortable at speaking Cantonese or Chinese as I tend to mix it with English. I avoid any possibility to hang out at Chinatown. Now I only speak Mandarin to my parent and sister on the phone. I don't even have any Chinese friend speaking Chinese!

I used to be very good at Bahasa Melayu even though it is my second language. I wasn't very good at it until I won a second place for essay writing competition on a "kebangsaan" level. Hey, that was a big deal back in 2005. I won RM1000 okay. From then on, I got attention from every teacher and even the principle! Woohoo! I was so proud of myself. Now...I can't even get the "tatabahasa" correctly. I have never speak or read or write any Melayu ever since 2006. I have no friends who I can practice my Melayu.

Eventually....
Yup, I lost it. Not completely as I still understand and read Bahasa Melayu, just partially losing the writing skills. If I were to asked to write an essay, I think I can write like a Grade 6. That is not a good right? I know, but what can I do. I speak, listen to English ALL THE TIME, so there is no way not to be fluent in English. There was one point in my life where I felt like I have completely given up this language.

Sayangkan, saya sudah hampir lupa Bahasa Melayu/Bahasa Malaysia. Minta maaf Cikgu Tamil! 


Lesson 19 = You learn, but you do not give up any language. Keep practicing.

FML 18 - I don't have a car

The fact that 

I am already 22 

I know how to drive a car

I have a driver license since I was 20

But

I still don't have a car 

Why? 

I am always indecisive 

About what?

About the cheap vs expensive, BMW vs ACURA vs AUDI vs INFINITY vs HONDA vs NISSAN vs MAZDA, the second-hand or brand new, the kms, the package included, the gas price, fuel efficiency, auto insurance etc.Most importantly, whether I am financially capable of buying a car.

As a result?

I have not been driving for last 2 years.

I think I forgot the driving skills (parallel parking, uphill/downhill parking, rules).

I rely on the public transit and still hate it to the max.

It is so inconvenient to get around the city without a car, so I stay home most of the time.

I waste at least 2 hours every day every time I go out.

Lesson 18 = Just get a cheap second hand car, as simple as that.

FML 17 - Unemployment

Unemployment? Jobless? Hopesless?

Is a college or university education a guarantee of a job? 
Not for many.

Every year colleges and universities are producing millions and billions of graduates who simply end up among the unemployed because their courses are incompatible with what jobs are available.

Consequently?
Many end up working in clerical positions or fast food restaurants.

Lesson 17 = Take short courses in practical skills or technical fields which work may be found more easily.

FML 16 - Washing Machine breaks down on me ...

Mr. Washer can still wash my clothes, but it just won't absorb or dry them properly.

When I get my clothes out of the washer, they are all dripping wet and I couldn't put them directly into the dryer because it might exploded.

So I have to borrow the sun energy to let my clothes airdry.

Not fun because there are extra work.

Lesson 16 = I save some electricity on Earth Day by using natural sunlight. BRAVO!

FML 15 - Public speaking HELP!

Public Speaking - How to overcome the fear?

You can't talk or speak naturally in front of the public, SO WHAT?

So you memorize everything.

You memorize everything so well that you forgot everything when it is your turn to present.

Your adrenaline is rising, blood pressure is rising, heart beat is rising.

Your hands are shaking, legs are shaking, your whole body is shaking incontrollably.

Everyone is looking at you, waiting for you

But not a single word is coming out from your mouth

Even if you do, you are most likely tongue tied

Or you don't even know what you are talking about

The audiences look at you in doubt, confused

Sorry people, I can't do public speaking!!

Lesson 15 = Just be confident and bluff...

FML 14 - I am broke

Hmm...13 dollars for the rest of the month? Nice

When you are broke... aka You can't do anything

You can't eat out, so you have instant noodles instead

You can't do shopping, so you can only do window shopping

You can't watch movie in cinema, so you can only watch movie online illegally

You can't buy grocery, so you eat the left over food from last night

You can't pay your bills, so you have no phone, no electricity, no water, no house

When you are broke, you are screwed unluckily...

Lesson 14 = Spend wisely next time!

FML 13 - How to swim?

Do you still remember the first time you were at the swimming pool?

So for the first time you get into the pool, standing at the corner of the shallow pool, leaning against and holding tightly to the wall.

You were watching the kids, the families, boys and girls, men and women swimming, splashing, kicking, having Fun!

You thought it should not be too hard to swim. So you let go and started to take small steps forward.

Somehow the water waves were getting stronger, and you lost balance in the water.

You fell...oops!

And I couldn't get up.

I was literally drowning! And I couldn't open my mouth screaming for help at all.

I kept my eyes closed, waving my hands in the water trying to find a solid wall to grab.

After a few seconds (actually it felt like a few minutes long), I finally felt the wall, and i held on tight and not let go.

Was it easy to swim? Nope, I almost choked myself to death at the shallow pool! No kidding!

When when you don't know how to swim, you get swimming lessons.

Lesson 13 = Don't choke yourself in a shallow pool...like me!

FML 12 - Suck at multiple choice questions

Remember the day when you had a test and they were all in multiple choices?

"Okay, it should be A. Wait, B seems right too, okay maybe B. Hold on, C is more reasonable and D is applicable too...wtf! so which ones is the right one?"

Had you had this monolog before? Tell me you did!

Don't you just hate multiple choice?I would rather have short answer questions rather than multiples choice!

Why?
Because I can write whatever I know and still get marks for the points I hit. But to get a right answer for a multiple choice question, you better be lucky and 100% sure. A lot of time, I am either guessing between A or B, or C or D, or all of the above. And when you double check, you erase the "right" answer.

Unluckily, I never get lucky in multiple choices questions. Too bad...

Lesson 12 = Be a better guesser next time! Teehee

FML 11 - A secret is no longer a secret

Shhhhhhhhhhhh......

Yes, you have a secret in yourself. One day you told your friend about this secret. You think he or she is going to keep it for you as well. Well, I guess it does not happen always. She is starting to tell everyone about this secret that you have been hiding from every one all the time. He or she would always bring up the same topic fearing that no one would be left out. 

Sigh...what can I do when my secret is no longer a secret. It is not a top secret, but it is my secret! I am so unlucky.

Lesson 11 = Keep it to yourself ONLY, if it is a SECRET!

FML 10 - HIGH tuition fees!

Well, the title says it all. You just pay your school tuition fees. 

See! Did you see that? I paid 6010.98 CAD for spring semester! Crazy enough!

Even worse, when you are an international student, you pay the double the local people pay. 

Local students pay 3000 dollars which is considered to be HUGE amount of money. But they are lucky as they have loan from the government. 

What about me? 
I have to pay $++for each semester of school. And I don't have support from the government in term of loan. Nor do I have scholarship. I feel sorry for myself! Why am I not a Canadian?

Lesson 10 = Try to get scholarship no matter how good or how bad you do at school. You might be the only person apply for it and you will be qualify for it. Just give it a try.

FML 9 - Yes I speak with strong accent

English is not my first language. It is actually not my second language either. And it may not be my third language either. Whoa hey! 

In fact, I grew up speaking Mandarin mostly with my families and friends. I attended Chinese school from Grade 1 to Grade 6, so we learn to write in simplified Chinese and speak in Mandarin. Then I attended Malays school from Form 1 to Form 5 or Grade 7 to Grade 11 where everything was changed into Bahasa Melayu! Can you imagine that? I have to re-learn everything in Malays language. Then the government decided to promote English teaching. So I attended English school for Grade 12. It was a pain in the butt.

FML 8 - When Extreme Couponing failed

You are probably wondering why extreme couponing would fail when TLC shows us all the success stories of savings and stock up!

Yes, you spent so much time cutting out coupons and even sticking your blood-shot eyes to the computer browsing thousands of website looking for more.

If you are a newbie on this, you have no idea how to get started or organized. In the end, the coupons expired before you even use it.

Lesson 8 = Yes, check the expiry date before hitting the grocery store, piling up the goodies, lining up for the cashier and being told that you can't use the coupons at all.

FML 7 - Someone did not keep the promises...

Obviously someone tells you that he or she WILL BE doing this and that for you, and so you get excited and be ready for the "event".

BUT

At the very last minute, he or she tell you that "sorry...can't make it", "can we change the plan?", "Can we skip it this time? Can we change the time?"....etc... Or they will be giving tons of excuses such as "my stomach aches!", "my grandpa is in the hospital,", "i need to stay overtime at work."

Well, thanks for ruining my day! 

Lesson 7 = Don't be upset. Maybe one day you would do the same thing to that person next time.

FML 6 - Sigh... waiting In a Long Line...

You have finished grocery shopping, wheeling a cart full of grocery stuffs towards the cashiers. All you can see are people waiting in long line. But hey, you found a line that has less people waiting, so you thought you got the lucky spot.

BUT,

Unluckily, the customer in front of you started to question and argue with the cashier about the price of an item. The cashier has to call the supervisor to come. Then supervisor tried to explain to the customer. The customer disagreed. No way! You were still waiting impatiently while watching the others (who were previously waiting at the other line) leaving with their grocery.

Oh my, what an unlucky day.

Lesson 6 = Sometimes it is not a bad idea to stay where you are right now.

FML 5 - Why should I be doing your favour all the time?

Your colleague came to you and pleaded you to finish up the work because she has to go for a party. So you ended up working extra hours in the office by yourself trying to accomplish the mission, while she was having fun.

Your friends invited you to his house for a party, and they asked if you could help them to set up the tables and lights, get the drinks from liquor store, putting things away, tidying...and now you are like the nanny running around like mad, not having fun.
You were asked to look after your neighbour's dog, and you got barked and bitten...

You were asked to be the designated driver of the night because you don't drink...

You were asked to help to carry all the grocery and you were also being yelled as slow as a snail...

You helped to dye someone's hair and you were yelled as because it didn't turn our as good as it should be...

Now ask yourself
How many times have you bean asked to do others a favour?
And how many times have you said "Yeah, sure, no problem" when really, 99.9% of the times you are not willing to do it.

You are very unlucky for being asked to do the stuff when you  shouldn't care much about it.

Lesson 5 = Learn to say NO next time.

FML 4 - Damn it! I am short

Did you realize that you are short? 

So short that people around you would say, "you are short!"

So short that you have to constantly look up to people, and others have to "look down" on you?

So short that you can't reach the top of the cabinet in the kitchen.

So short that you couldn't find the perfect jeans that really fit you.

So short that you can smell others armpits while squeezing in a moving train or bus

So short that you don't have the beautiful long legs like others women do.

So short that you have to make your hair spiky or wear a hat to create a false illusion that you are taller.

So short that you have to wear high heels that kill your feet.

So short that you couldn't find a woman to be interested in you. Ps. you know one of the basic requirements when women are looking in their partners is being tall enough, 180cm or taller.

So short that you couldn't watch a football games when everyone is standing up and cheering.

Being short? You are unlucky...

Lesson 4 = Fight for the "tall" gene when you still have the choice in generating the DNA. haha

FML 3 - Ridiculous NSF fees

NSF aka Non-Sufficient Fee is a fee charged by your bank when you have insufficient money in your bank account.

What does it mean?

It means you have spent more money than you had in your bank account. And you didn't realize it, did you?

How much can it cost you?

Depends of which bank you are dealing with. It can range between $35 to $45. PC Financial charges you $40 when you overdraw or overspend.

Now should you be pissed off?

Yes and no. 

Yes if you are a student or unemployed, trying to save up every pennies by sacrificing your breakfast or dinner, not going out for movies, not buying any new clothes, doing only window shopping. $40 could mean a lot!

No if you are rich spoil brat and don't care a thing of your expenses.

Being a victim of NSF fees? Not fun.

Lesson 3 = Obviously you gotta make sure you have money in your account before spending it.

FML 2 - Break up

You just break up with your beloved girlfriend or boyfriend

Your heart aches so much that it is bleeding profusely inside.

Your pulses are so weak that doctor can`t even feel it.

Your couldn`t breathe unless you get to see him or her again.

You lose your sense as you are only into him or her.

You lose your appetite that you start to lose weight which worries everyone else.

So...

You are forced to pack all the memory at a corner of your heart.

You unwillingly change your Facebook status from in a relationship to single.

You are being told of the millions pros of being single again.

But...

You have to to put on a fake smile telling everyone that you are fine...you are doing just fine.

You have to constantly control yourself not to text any love quotes to him or her anymore.

You are all bundled up in the blanket in bed...alone...with no warm hands to hold on to.

You watch the DVD...alone...with no one to share the joys, sadness...

You cook some food, but you couldn`t share it with him or her.

You couldn`t fall asleep thinking about him. You can`t sleep thinking about her.

You couldn`t go to the places you used to go as a couple because it reminds you of so many things.

You can`t say I LOVE YOU, but you can`t say I HATE YOU either. 

Lesson 2 = Maybe we all shouldn't indulge ourselves in relationships?

FML 1 - Transit Delay!

"During periods of severe weather conditions, delays may be experienced on some routes throughout the City. 


Although all routes will continue to operate, some sections of routes may be impassable due to stuck or inoperable vehicles or because of extremely icy conditions, especially in hilly areas. 


Please note that the decisions to implement detours and/or remove them are dependent on the specific road conditions at the time and cannot be scheduled in advance." ~  Transit

Due to a heavy 21cm of snowfall overnight and continuously throughout the day, delayed in transit is expected.  So you left the house half an hour earlier than usual, hoping you could be lucky enough to catch the bus and arrive work or school on time.

But nah you are always the unlucky one...you ended up standing alone in the wind and snow waiting for half an hour and probably cursing the bus driver for driving so cautiously? Come on, tell me that you did the same thing like me!

By the time the bus arrived, you were all covered up in snow, like a snowman. And you gave the driver a furious look when you got on the bus... Then the snow that lays on top of the coat or jacket started to melt. 

Now you are ALL WET and LATE unluckily.


Lesson 1 = Just pray...